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Dec 5, 2008

This week we're taking a lighter (yet truly bizarre) look at the endlessly fascinating campus that is the human body. In this first half of our two part bio-spectacular, we're starting out with the brain. From the water content of our gray skull sacks to the amount of voltage needed to power it, we dig around the ridges of our most vital of organs. From there we move into digestion, hair, nails, and some other strange places. Enjoy!

Opening Music: "Alive WIP v2" by George Carpenter
Closing Music: "Blau.ton" by Rauschwerk

over ten years ago

I also wondered about the psychological process of urination. When i leave work sometimes i can feel twinge and think Mmmm can i last the bus trip and stroll home (toilets at work are pretty disgusting)...Bus trip is fine, the walk home is fine but inevitably as soon as i turn into my street the urgency rises and by the time i reach the driveway i am in a process of a brisk walk utilising all bowel and/or bladder muscles. As soon as i put the key into the front door with the cat yelling on the other side i have flashes of \"Iced Tea\" going down my leg as i quickly step over the cat and run for the toilet. It’s so strange that it happens all the time the closer to the toilet the more urgent the signals get. I surmised that walking massages the internal organs moving things along and as soon as you see the golden bowl the organs send messages saying \"we need to make more room, expel the waste\"

Big Dave (OZ)
over ten years ago

Yes, the closer you get the more desperate the need to go. What happens though when you rush in, fit to burst, and reach to lift the seat, only to have it slip from your fingers? That\'s when it gets bad.

Dave (UK)
over ten years ago

Oh man! It\'s true what is said about men and bodily functions. I laughed my tits off at that! Anyway, a thought and an anecdote:-

Firstly a theory I have postulated. I called it the Micturition Principle. This law states that the distance from a urinal/toilet/tree etc is directly inversely proportional to the imminent expulsion of urine. I can walk for a couple of miles needing to piss with no troubles. It\'s only when I get the key in the lock, open the bathroom door and undo my fly that I start to worry if I\'ll make it! Tell me I\'m not the only one... please.

Back in the day (about 14 years old) i was sitting in my school chapel for morning prayers. Next to me was a friend of mine, who whispered he needed to fart. Given we were in a chapel during a service, given there was absolute silence but for the rantings of the Reverend Harley, given we were place 6 feet from several masters I urged him to hold it in.

Five minutes later he became frantic, \"I can\'t hold it in any longer!\" and with that expelled perhaps the longest, most tuneful, and geographically inappropriate fart I have ever witnessed. Imagine you are desperately holding it in, imagine how tight that sphincter must be. Now imagine a high pitch whine that sounds as if you are releasing air from a balloon by pulling the sides apart as far as possible. In reality this possibly lasted only a few seconds, however it seemed to last much longer. My friend had also decided that he had finished and relaxed. Alas he had not finished and that whine descended to the familiar deep rasp, which again seemed to last forever.

I sunk my teeth into my hand, snot running from my nose; desperately trying not to break into howls of laughter. I glanced out the corner of my eye and could clearly see the Masters in various stages of amusement. Fortunately this emission was odourless and the service finished soon afterward. As soon as the exit was reached we were finally able to laugh out loud.

That happened over twenty years ago and I was laughing just typing that out. It never ceases to amuse me. I don\'t think I will ever hear a fart like that again. Sheer brilliance!